


Shadows of the Past

by Rose_557



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur comes back, Depressed Merlin, F/M, Future AU, M/M, Merlin in Denial, Merlin still waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:39:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_557/pseuds/Rose_557
Summary: “Arthur finds Merlin but Merlin, who is convinced Arthur isn’t real after hundreds of years of waiting, won’t let him in.”I saw this prompt on Pinterest and decided to give it a go! Someone else said they would write it but I couldn’t find anything so here’s this one! Please enjoy.





	1. The Voices In My Head

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own Merlin, also if you have found the other fic based off of this prompt, please tell me what it’s called or give me a link because I would love to read it!

Merlin smiled as he rode through the forest, right by Arthur’s side. The knights rode closely behind, laughing and joking about something Gwaine did. It all just felt so, right. This is where Merlin belonged.

The world swirled, and he was holding his King in his arms as the life slowly dimmed from his eyes, along with it, Merlin’s hope.

The Once and Future King is dead. Hope for Albion is no more. 

*bzzzzt* 

*bzzzzt*

Merlin groaned, wide awake. Pushing himself off the hard wooden floor, since when did he fall on the floor? Pushing himself up, his whole body ached. The same dream. The same exact nightmare he’s been getting since he last saw his King and his friend.

It’s been 1,679 years, 8 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days since the fall of King Arthur. Everyone of that time has vanished, no one is around anymore. No one but Merlin. 

He’s been waiting for so long, he’s gone insane. 

“Merlin! You idiot! Sleeping on the floor now?” That voice. That voice that he loved so much, like honey and a warm day. Arthur’s voice. 

Looking up, Merlin saw him. “Well don’t just stand there, come here!” The King said, holding his arms out for a hug. That familiar blond hair, those blue eyes, the red cape. Merlin held his breath, just reveling in the figure in front of him.

“I would... if you were real, my friend.” Merlin said sadly, walking through Arthur, who disappeared like fog being swooshed away. When the figure was gone, the Warlock had to stifle a cry of frustration and anger. Another day will go by. Just survive another day.

Merlin works in an antique shop, but he never sells anything. It’s all just an excuse to keep what he preserved from his past. The spell books gifted to him by Giaus, Morgana’s jewelry as well as Gwen’s, Leon’s sword, Gwaine’s water skin that was always filled with alcohol. Everything and anything any of his friends cherished or kept in the past, all sat in this shop under the care of Merlin.

The most important and most cherished relic though, lay in the back room in a silver box. Wrapped in the softest of felt, Arthur’s ring. The crest of the King of Camelot, polished every other day and taken care of until the day it’s rightful owner returns to wear it once again.

Merlin sat down silently, another day. He had enchanted this place, so as far as the world was concerned, this building was an abandoned library. He did so he could keep the memories of them all safe.

“How did you manage to keep all this?” Arthur asked, walking up to brush his fingers lightly against Gwen’s crown. “You even kept it in good shape... perhaps you aren’t the worst servant...” the illusion continued to inspect the shop. Merlin let him be, turning to his desk and taking out a pen.

He began to write:

8/21/2014

Dear Arthur,   
it’s Merlin again... I’ll make this one short. I’m giving up.   
Lately, I’ve gone mad. I wanted you to come back so badly, I still do. But now I’m seeing things, I’m seeing you. In fact you’re right here in my shop, touching all my stuff. If he breaks anything I’ll find you and kill you again.   
I don’t mean that... I would never mean that. But I’m sorry, I can’t write these letters anymore. It’s too painful.  
Goodbye,   
Merlin

“Go away please.” He whispered. The man said nothing as he turned to smoke. 

Merlin folded the letter and placed it into an envelope. Opening a chest under the desk, he threw it in with the rest. It was funny, seeing all the paper from different centuries as time passed. Gently, he took out the one sealed with wax and his crest. A simple M. It was like a relic among the others. He closed the chest, and got to work.

First he cleaned and polished Arthur’s ring. Then Gwen’s crown. The dead king came back again, when Merlin was cleaning the swords that belonged to the round table. Merlin tried to ignore the idle chatter in the background as he cleaned the swords till his hands bled.

The voice stopped, he could feel the concern in the room. “Why do you still clean them like that? There must be an easier way.” Chainmail clinked until it was right behind Merlin, sitting down. “Because.... I’m not sure. For the nostalgia, the good old times. If I clean anything differently from how it’s supposed to be cleaned, my life might break. You guys wouldn’t have existed, I would just be a sad man keeping to an antique shop full of random items.”

He let the illusion stay, it walked with him to the market. “Where do you get money?” “I have an online website I created, people pay me from that.” “What the hell is an online?” “You should know, your just a figment of my mind.” 

The conversation went on like this for a while, walking home, entering his flat, while Merlin cooked dinner. It didn’t leave until Merlin was back asleep, yet he could still hear him. 

“I’m sorry...”

He broke down hearing those words. He wanted to ask Arthur “What are you sorry for? Just come back!” But he was asleep by now, and Arthur probably wasn’t there anymore. Just another day. Just survive the day.


	2. I’m Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, the not Arthur’s are able to have a physical affect on the real world due to Merlin’s magic. But just as any other hallucination, no one can see him.

The wind howled as if it were alive, the trees whispered and the animals lay in greeting. The surface of a lake glistened as the stars from above seemed to dive into the water, to retrieve something that was once lost. 

It all happened so quickly, it was over in a blink. The water was smooth again, the wind stopped blowing. The stars were back in their rightful place.

Sudden gasps and coughs scared away the animals who were patiently waiting for the figure in the lake. Soaking blond hair bobbed across the water before dragging his body onto shore. Heavy chainmail and an even heavier wet cloak clung to his body as if desperate to keep him grounded to this world.

After a long while of just staring at the sky above, blue eyes hardened in determination.

“I need to find Merlin.”

The King has returned.

 

Merlin woke with a routine: Wake up, ignore Arthur, eat food, wash up, ignore Arthur, go to work, clean everything, ignore Arthur, buy food, cook dinner, ignore Arthur, falls asleep, repeat. 

He stopped dreaming, he doesn’t know wether that’s a good thing or bad. It could mean he’s finally moved on, that he’s accepted that Arthur, the real Arthur, will never return. 

“Merlin, please talk to me.” The blond sat in Merlin’s favorite chair, watching him eat breakfast. “You aren’t real, Arthur. You’re never coming back.” He snapped. 

Getting up, Arthur marched over to where Merlin was, slamming his hands on the table. Merlin jumped at the sound, it was just so real. But he knew better. “Just talk to me! I may not be real but I’m here. I’m here, Merlin.” 

He said nothing as he continued to ignore Arthur, they walked silently to the little antique shop. Merlin began to dust the shelves and then sweep. The days blurred, they always did. Maybe it isn’t worth living anymore.... if Arthur won’t ever come back, what’s his purpose here?

He was distracted when he heard a click coming from the back of the room. Fear punched him in the gut, he ran to the chest to see not Arthur going through the letters. Cracking the elegant M seal on it.

“What are you doing!? Stop! Get out! Get out of here now!” He frantically threw his broom at the vanishing fog. Merlin walked over with a sigh, picking up the letter and rubbing his thumb over the broken seal. Throwing it back with the rest, he went back to his chore.

The door to the shop opened, he turned toward the noise. No one should be able to enter here, his confusion turned to dull exasperation when his eyes fell upon chainmail. Merlin turned back, ignoring the blond.

“Merlin?” He didn’t answer. “Merlin is that really you?” He broke. “You aren’t real! Just leave me alone!” The emotion behind his words activated his magic, slightly shaking the object around him. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m here? Merlin I’m real.” Arthur hesitantly walked toward his friend as if he were a wounded animal. This wasn’t how he imagined reunited with his servant.

“Just stop! You’re lying!” The warlock backed up with each step the other took forward, he took backward. “Merlin stop. I knew you were an idiot but come on, this is a little much.” Merlin buried his face in his hands, anything to stop seeing him. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Go away.... go away, go away!” He cried.

“Merlin enough! I’m real! I swear on my life that I’m real!” Arthur grabbed Merlin by his shoulders and began to slightly shake him. “Stop!” There was a whoosh and then Merlin was gone. Leaving a soaking, overwhelmed, and confused King in his collection of antiques. 

 

Merlin was suddenly in his flat again, he didn’t know what happened but now he was here. He was scared, and confused. The illusions don’t make contact with him, especially not like that. 

Arthur sighed, sitting at the desk in the back of the room. He had no idea what was happening. After the lake, he made his way through the forest. Which was a lot smaller than he remembered. There was a flat road made of black rocks with colorful monsters roaming through. People inside looked at him but he didn’t care. A feeling in his gut was pulling him in this direction. As a skilled hunter, he knew better than to ignore it.

It brought him to a small building, looking unimpressive by the towering castles of stone Arthur had passed. They were taller than Camelot, they seemed to even touch the skies. It was mesmerizing, and just a lot to take in. He knew he wasn’t in Camelot anymore, that this wasn’t his world. But he also knew Merlin was here, and that he needed to find him. Fast.

Walking up to the window, it was him. The scrawny big eared servant whom he trusted his life and so much more with. The man whose been by his side through everything. His marriage, the betrayals, even through a damn dragon attack. And now he was in a small rundown building, sweeping the floor all alone.

It was as if time had stopped. He just stood there, staring at Merlin. But then he ran to the back of the room frantically and didn’t come back. Arthur was about to go in himself after a couple of minutes, but before he could, Merlin came back looking tired and worn. 

Now that he got a good look, his servant, well not his servant anymore he guessed. He seemed different, a lot different. His eyes didn’t hold that light anymore, a smile didn’t grace his face. In fact it looked as if he hadn’t smiled in ages. (Which is kind of the case with Merlin :( ) 

His shoulders slumped as he swept, cowering inward. It physically hurt to see his friend like this. Making up his mind, the blond made his way up to the door and threw it open.

And now he was here, sitting at desk. No Merlin. Just him.

He forgot Merlin had magic, and he’s not sure how he feels about that. Arthur isn’t mad, he isn’t uncomfortable. He’s just calm. Hurt that Merlin left him in such a hurry, but somehow calm with his manner of leaving. As if he hadn’t spent his young life hunting down druids and magic users. It was odd.

Standing up, Arthur walked around the room. He recognized the swords on the wall, picking up Leon’s. He was a wise and trusted knight, but Arthur knew the man was no longer here. None of them were. It was just him and Merlin now. He set the sword down and moved on.

He went through Morgana’s things, knowing the old her would not be pleased. Remembering how she changed nearly made him break her favorite necklace.

He nearly cried when he saw his queen’s crown. Sitting there on a velvet pillow. He missed Gwen so much, Arthur wondered if she ever remarried. As long as she was happy. He set the crown down before he could ponder to much on it. He had to move on, just as she probably did. But if only he could just see her one more time.

He saw an assortment of things, laughing as he held Gwaine’s water skin. It still smelled very slightly of whiskey, guess it’s just forever stuck within the material. As to why Merlin would even keep half of this stuff was beyond the King. 

A small, half open chest caught Arthur’s eye. It was under the desk he sat at previously. Curiously, he sat down and began to go through the millions of papers within it. He opened the one written on parchment most recent to Camelot time. 

“Dear Arthur, it’s been five days since you died”  
“It’s been two weeks since you left. I thought that I would write you letters in hope you will read them one day. I can keep you updated with what happens in Camelot while you are gone, so when you come back, you’ll be caught up and ready to lead your kingdom again. Well, see you soon. ~Merlin”

Looking back at the box that was overflowing with letters, Arthur knew he’s been gone for much longer than that. Picking up a recent looking one, he read.

“Dear Arthur, it’s been... a long time. I’m sorry I haven’t been writing recently. I was able to get in touch with some of Gwen’s descendants. Actually I just got back from her great great great granddaughters wedding. It was beautiful, almost like your wedding. But the guy was a lot different than you, he had brown hair. And he wasn’t a prat!”

Arthur rolled his eyes, the letter ended there so he grabbed a new one.

“Dear Arthur, I met a girl today. She must have been some reincarnate if Freya, they looked identical!  
I haven’t told you about Freya have I? Well she’s, she was amazing. And I loved her with all my heart. But she’s no longer around....  
Anyways, this girl, her name was Madison. I met her in London when she nearly ran me over with her carriage! We got tea after that. Unfortunately she’s engaged, but it felt so good seeing her again. That’s all I have to say today.”

Arthur spent the rest of the day reading through as many letters. It saddened him to read all about this life Merlin lived without him. All the losses and gains Arthur couldn’t celebrate or comfort him with. Merlin never took on a partner, he explained he would end up outliving them and it would be too painful to bear. 

Soon he fell upon the one that was the most recent. Merlin gave up, he couldn’t wait for Arthur anymore. He doesn’t think he’s real. But he is! Arthur is back! He just needs to convince Merlin of that. Finished reading, he just stared down at inked words.

“I’m real....”


	3. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, I literally just wrote it so sorry if it seems a bit rushed.

Arthur heard him before he saw him. 

“Merlin I swear if you say rise and shine!” The King grumbled, turning on his... very hard bed? 

He opened his eyes to reveal an unfamiliar roof. Slight panic overtook him, he forced his tired aching body up. Was he kidnapped? 

No, he was in a shop. The little run down shop. Filled with random objects from Camelot. Merlin’s shop. He died, and then came back, and then... information rushed through Arthur’s mind and he felt as if a new horse had just kicked him in the head.

“Merlin I...” but the weary warlock wasn’t paying him any mind, just ignoring him. “Merlin listen to me!” He was ignored again. His best friend went to grab a cloth from a shelf and began to scrub at one of the shields on the wall. 

“As your king I demand you pay me attention!” This was ridiculous! A lot of time has passed, yes, but now he was here. And he could really use something more than a shop filled with reminders of his lost time and a mute Warlock.

That seemed to have gotten Merlin’s attention, for now he sat with a slack jaw just staring at Arthur. “You’re getting to sound more more like him everyday, you’ve even become quite the prat.” There was a small glow of light in his eyes as he used that familiar insult again, but it quickly went out when he remembered that it wasn’t really Arthur he was insulting.

Arthur mirrored his pain, he wished he could go back and change everything. To not leave behind everyone he loved, to come back only to have lost them to time. To find out more about Merlin and his story. To take Gwen on one last anniversary. But he can’t. He can only move on, and work with what he has. And he has Merlin.

“You can’t address me like that...” He tried to say out of habit, but it came out more sad than he intended. Quietly. 

“Oh of course, my apologies. You’re getting to be quite the prat, your majesty.” 

Arthur dozed off a few times, Merlin would only engage in conversation once in a while. It was lonely, like the other man wasn’t even there. “Don’t you usually clean everything with magic? I mean it’s not like I don’t know anymore. I don’t mind if you do.” The blond said as he practiced swinging his sword. 

“I don’t want to.” He told him. Arthur stopped. “Why not? If I had magic, I would of done about a thousand things differently.” That was a lie, Arthur would never want magic of his own. Pendragons’ didn’t seem to have very good luck when they’re involved in magic. 

“I have no reason to. The purpose of my very existence was to serve the Once and Future King of Albion and his kingdom. He’s gone though. Everyone’s gone.” They stayed silent after that. 

“Do you really not think I’m real?” Arthur asked him. “I can’t.” “That’s not an answer.” “I can’t. Because if I do, on the chance that you really aren’t real-“ Merlin didn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to. If Merlin allowed himself to believe Arthur was actually here, and then he wasn’t. Merlin could go insane from the grief of losing what was just found. 

“I am real Merlin.” “Just stop.” “No.” 

He put down the sword, and took a seat next to Merlin on the stone floor. “I am real. And I will prove it. How can I prove it to you?” The blond asked. He needed Merlin now more than ever, so he’ll do whatever it takes to keep the one thing he hasn’t lost completely.

“I don’t know Arthur... but just... stay?” Merlin didn’t know what he was saying. He could be wrong, Arthur could still be dead and he could just be going crazy from a too persistent mock version of his King. But the presence of this thing, soothes his magic. Something he’s never felt for too many years. He felt he could trust this illusion, if it even was.

“Then I’ll stay.”

A seed of hope was planted with those three words.

The sun passed over the sky, leaves fell to the concrete outside, and people of all ages ran by the windows of a small shop hidden from the world. Inside, a once king now in the future, and the greatest Warlock to still walk this earth, sat in peaceful silence.


	4. Arthur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this will be the last one because I’m it so sure how well I’m doing on plot. But I encourage other people to write stories about this prompt because i would really love to read how they would write it and the style of writing they do! So please!

Merlin watched gobsmacked as Arthur picked up a fork and began to eat the food he set on the table.

“You’re.... eating the food.”  
The man looked up at him weirdly, “No Merlin. I’m talking to it.” Arthur said sarcastically before eating again. “Ah... okay.” Merlin left to make another plate for himself. 

After that day in the shop, Arthur never left his side. Wether he was talking to Merlin in the background, or screaming at a blender, he was always there. It was a change, but a good one. Merlin enjoyed the company. 

“You know, the unicorn? Is it still around?” Arthur asked out nowhere while they were in the shop. “No... man killed them off a long time ago.” Merlin told him sadly. “But the curse...” Merlin didn’t respond, he was distant for the rest of the day. 

Arthur kept bringing up random questions, “Are there anymore of Gwen’s descendants alive?” “Is Camelot remembered by anyone?” “How is this cold box not magic?” Merlin answered each one patiently, Arthur found out that Gwen’s great (9x) grandson is married with two children. Camelot is told as a story along with the great King Arthur and his Knights of the round table. Also the box is called a refrigerator and that he could believe it was magic if he wished. 

Arthur asked if they could visit Gwen’s family, and they did. Arthur was introduced to Richard and his wife, Emilia. 

“Kids come down! There’s someone I want you to meet!” Richard called upstairs. Instantly, three pairs of feet came thundering down. A tall boy, clearly the oldest stood in front. Behind him was a slightly smaller boy who held the hand of a little girl with curly hair. She smiled up at Arthur. “And what are your names?” The blond asked gently. “I’m Richard jr.” The eldest began, “That’s Ethan, my little brother, and my little sister-“ “I’m Gwen!” 

When they got home, Arthur broke down in Merlin’s room for a few hours. 

Things gradually got better, Arthur became more adjusted to the new world and Merlin became more adjusted to Arthur. They even banter a bit. “Merlin! I was eating that!” “Yes well, best cut back on the carbs. Wouldn’t want you to outgrow that pull out.” “Wh- I am the King! I’m not fat!” “Im not so sure about that...” “Merlin.” “Shutting up now.”

Everyday, Merlin would find himself just watching Arthur. Or staring at the unmade sofa bed, or the two dishes in the sink. It was real, it felt so real. He had twice a many clothes to wash, twice as much food to buy and cook. He no longer was alone, or lonely. Arthur became a constant. He felt whole again.

“Merlin! Why didn’t you tell me you kept this!” Merlin snapped out of his thoughts when Arthur came running out from the back of the shop. On his hand was the ring Merlin spent his whole life cleaning and polishing. The pendragon crest glowed beautifully on the hand of the King. It looked as if it belonged, finally worn by Arthur again. 

“I mean I should’ve known, with all this junk you’ve been holding on to.... Merlin?” Tears streamed down the other man’s face. He was here. How could he not have noticed the change in his magic? The call from Avalon? He felt so dumb. For the first time, Merlin looked at his Arthur. Really looked at him. 

“Arthur...” 

His King has returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is finally reunited with Arthur both physically and mentally, but that doesn’t mean his scars from the past have vanished. I feel really bad because Merlin can never truly and fully recover from all that lost time. I hope though, that he can now live this chapter of his life with his long lost best friend and they can I’ve forewarn together.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? I know it’s kind of short but I’ll be adding more chapters soon!


End file.
